Chat
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Source: thisisanatattack
Photo Set
Photo

he4vyrain:

lianachan:

beaconsoftomorrow:

bilbos-buttons:

The last thing I’m going to post/reblog about this issue.

If only more people on tumblr actually believed this. Some of them do, but they don’t act like it.

\m/

this is important 

(via tardisgalaxy)

Source: bilbos-buttons
Photo
airbenderedacted:

seabornunicorns:

i just found my new favourite post

#me on my way to chop off my kid’s hand off
Photo Set

fallenadversary:

wellheyproductions:

onestepinc:

insanelydelish:

JC PENNY SEES YOUR HOMOPHOBIA AND RAISES YOU A DOUBLE RAINBOW.

^ yes

I tried to scroll past this, but it must be reblogged. Must….always….reblog…..

ANTE UP, BITCHES!

JC Penny says “COME AT ME BITCHES!”

(via karenhallion)

Source: chasingdreamsofparadise
Answer
  • Question: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS? - tumblrbot
  • Answer:

    DINOSAURS ALL THE WAY

Photo Set

kaitlyncreates:

Tony likes to make bird puns at Hawkeye.

(via malec-is-on-fire)

Source: kaitlyncreates
Text

the-slightly-awkward-outcast:

snowflake1814:

rebeca-flores:

coward:

coward:

coward:

ppl who randomly message u on the tumble are the best kind of ppl even if they’re just bein all like ‘hello!’ because its like omg hi hello person wow someones talking to me this is the best day ever

i get like 10 hellos a day because of this post

image

No one ever messages me. 😒

I got seven hellos & hi’s the last time i reblogged this

It’s really nice to get random messages :3

(via malec-is-on-fire)

Source: aqua
Photo Set

Happy Birthday to Lee Pace! (March 25th 1979)

(via percyjacksonandharrypotter)

Source: leepacey
Photo
zakuro-san:

satinhands:

plankt0n:

lost-moonlight:

Imagine though when you find your soul mate and the happens

this is one of the most beautiful gifs I’ve seen.

No but imagine the school jock and the nerd he beats up every day finally run into each other in the locker room or at a pool or something and their chest start glowing and they both look at each other and just go “Oh fuck no.”


It was always the same every day…

The guy would come to beat me up over a tiny, stupid whim.

I wish my day would change from that.

"Sup, nerd~"

"Ready for another lesson??"

"….What the—"
"…Huh?"

"Y-Your chest it—"
"Wait…NO—SHIT—"
"That means we’re—-"

I ASKED FOR A CHANGE, BUT THIS IS NOT WAS I WAS LOOKING FOR.
LMFAO welp this is how I imagined it. ENJOY
-MANIACALLY CACKLES-

zakuro-san:

satinhands:

plankt0n:

lost-moonlight:

Imagine though when you find your soul mate and the happens

this is one of the most beautiful gifs I’ve seen.

No but imagine the school jock and the nerd he beats up every day finally run into each other in the locker room or at a pool or something and their chest start glowing and they both look at each other and just go “Oh fuck no.

It was always the same every day…

The guy would come to beat me up over a tiny, stupid whim.

I wish my day would change from that.

"Sup, nerd~"

"Ready for another lesson??"

"….What the—"

"…Huh?"

"Y-Your chest it—"

"Wait…NO—SHIT—"

"That means we’re—-"

I ASKED FOR A CHANGE, BUT THIS IS NOT WAS I WAS LOOKING FOR.

LMFAO welp this is how I imagined it. ENJOY

-MANIACALLY CACKLES-

(via jigokuhana)

Source: lovejustsomething